Being Mother
Women are extraordinary! I don’t mean that in the superwoman, I can do all things way (which in itself is also true) but in terms of the all encompassing roles that we morph into as life requires and demands of us.
There are a number of definitions of what a “mother” is. Traditionally she is the female parent...the one who has given birth to a child and thereafter is responsible for nurturing the physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. We know that the definitive meanings of “mother”certainly do not end there.
I am of the belief that to a large extent, mother is very much also a state of being. Mother is a privilege and I believe, a title that belongs to the women who truly nurture and pour into our lives. I believe a “mother” is more appropriately captured by the various characteristics that mothers embrace.
Nurturer and Caregiver
These are the women who raise us. The ones who play, feed, clothe, bathe, discipline and cheer us on every single day. She may be your biological mother, adoptive mother, step mother grandmother or aunty. She is the one who looks after your daily needs, selflessly. I believe that as women, we have all found ourselves nurturing and caring for someone. It is in our very DNA. When you nurture your own mother or friend or even sibling when they aren’t well, you’re embodying the characteristic of “mother.”
Teacher
There are tremendous teachers that enter our lives...even if it’s only for a short season. They are the ones who teach us about life and in my experience, contribute to who we are. They educate or teach right from wrong. They impart insights to life and how to live it. These women have been my teachers, my mother’s friends and my bosses when I started working. In fact, when my husband met my High School Debating and Public Speaking Coach and went to visit Jeppe Girls with me, he pointed out how much of how I conduct myself is influenced by her and the school. Right now, you’re teaching someone...someone is looking up to you. Admiring and modeling certain aspects of who you are. Right now, you’re nurturing a young girl or a soul-sister who trusts you implicitly. I see this with my sister and cousins...my daughter’s aunts.
Spiritual Nurturer, Counsellor & Disciplinarian
Spiritually, you’re leaving an imprint on the soul of someone who connects with you. As women, we share with ease. We share what’s on our heart and mind, our concerns and our prayers. It’s in the comfort of our sisterhood, our tribes that we seek counsel to help us navigate this journey of life. Motherhood entails looking after the spiritual wellbeing of the children in your care. Counselling them when it’s required and being the shoulder they need. You can picture having done this because we do it daily. I see how the young women in my family love my daughters enough to discipline them as required. We counsel girlfriends. We’re tough, but loving with them. Sis, I see you embracing the spirit of mother.
Friend
Mother comes with friendship. The dynamics of the friendship may differ slightly but to this day, my mother and I will have a cup of tea together, curled up on the couch where I talk to her about so many things. She may be my mother, but I see how she becomes my friend as I just talk or when she dances with me in the kitchen while we cook. Sisters, I’ve seen you holding space for one another, doing your best to be non-judgemental and love on one another and simply allow one another to be.
There are so many facets that the very characteristics of a mother are composed of. Sisters, I know that like a diamond, you have shown every single one of those facets as the situation may have called for it. I have seen you “being mother” in more ways than one. It is a glorious embodiment that comes to life in all of us as women, in various scenarios at different stages of our lives. Cheers to this multifaceted motherhood.
By Kim Janser
IG: @KimJansen777