Love and Marriage
Love and marriage (If you're Xennial or Millennial, we know you sang the theme song from the sitcom, with a smile) are timeless chapters in the book of life and sisters let's be honest; our journey through these experiences can be both exhilarating and challenging. I was prompted to reflect on my thoughts when I was reminded that your spouse cannot be all things to you. That expectation is unrealistic.
You're an individual who cannot possibly embody everything your spouse needs (let's leave the miracles to our God, shall we?)
Renowned psychologist Jordan Peterson offers a nugget of wisdom: "You're a distinct person with a particular destiny, and your partner is a distinct person. So you're not the same person and shouldn't be the same person." It's a reminder that within the dance of love, embracing our individuality is critical to a fulfilling and mindful marriage.
Peterson encourages us to celebrate our unique qualities and recognise that our partners can't fulfill every aspect of our lives. It's a call to balance the shared journey of marriage with personal growth and interests outside the union. Your individuality drew you to one another in the first place.
Esteemed relationship expert Esther Perel shares, "The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships." As women, we inherently understand the importance of building solid connections. In the context of marriage, this involves nurturing our bond with our partners while cherishing the friendships and passions that make us who we are. Think about it; how good is a coffee or bubbles with the girls that you crave? While our husbands are great company, we're designed differently so that time with your girls becomes even more precious. Your time with your partner is more valued because you get to appreciate it for what it is.
Psychologist and author Harriet Lerner injects a touch of humour into the conversation, noting, "A good marriage is one in which each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal." It's a playful acknowledgement that, in the intricacies of marriage, recognising and appreciating our partner's strengths contributes to the richness of our shared life.
So, as we explore the labyrinth of love and marriage, let’s do so with curiosity and non-judgement. Let’s view marriage as a dynamic journey where our individuality enhances the collective narrative. Sometimes, we place so much pressure on one another and ourselves. While being intentional, take the pressure off just a little. Marriage is a tapestry woven with shared dreams and personal pursuits—enjoy the delicate and intricate dance of partnership!