Finding Comfort...

I’m not going to beat around this bush with this one. The past few weeks have unearthed a different kind of pressure and instead of it getting easier, there have been many times when I’ve felt like it’s just got harder. Why? Well, personally, I need time with my sisterhood. We need time with our tribe...it’s a sacred time where we laugh, cry, aren’t judged, enjoy hugs, gain wisdom and can openly share our hearts, knowing that these group of women around us love us enough to tell us when we’re wrong, yet support us when we’re right, without bringing anyone else down. That’s my tribe and I miss the intimacy over dinner, candles, pretty flowers, a hundred different conversations and like my favourite, warm soft blanket, I miss the comfort that sisterhood brings. 

On that keystroke, this time indoors has literally forced us out of the comfort that we’ve become accustomed to. We may not be able to dash to our girlfriends’ homes, indulge in a good breakfast at our favourite spot, get to the cinemas, theatre, gym or dance class that brings us comfort. However, we can find comfort and even evoke comfort in other ways. A cathartic hobby for me is baking and cooking.

As Ian D. Wolfelt said, "Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate." There may be a few of you who read this and feel the same. When I cook for the people I love, there’s always a little impartation of self. However, over these past few weeks, I’ve re-discovered cooking for myself. We forget that cooking doesn’t have to be a chore and that we can cook to bring us joy. There is something in the smell of the spices, the flavours and the richness of seeing a meal come together that brings a sense of comfort. According to South African Lifestyle Chef, Izelle Hofmann, the right food has the power to heal your body. While finding joy in cooking, find joy and comfort in feeding it food that will truly nourish your body. 

The following are a handful of her recommendations:

“Turmeric contains an anti-inflammatory called Curcumin. Your body only absorbs Curcumin when combined with an oil/fat like olive oil, or when combined with black pepper. 

Citrus

Peppermint tea is great for bloating. 

Sesame seeds are high in fibre, protein, and anti-inflammatory and add a little bit of crunch! 

Extra Virgin Olive Oil is alkaline and anti-inflammatory. Add it with fresh herbs to garnish to infuse it. 

Parsley is anti-inflammatory, as well as coriander. So include your fresh herbs! 

Lime/Lemon Juice – buy fresh limes/lemons rather than concentrate. The fresh has the Vitamin C you need.”

Comfort can also, of course, be found in exercise. To quote, LeAnne:

“Some days it’s not about achieving fitness and body goals. It’s just therapy. And that’s probably been every workout I’ve ever done during lockdown.”

Personally, taking pressure off yourself to achieve when exercising, and simply getting lost in the release of stress from your body is without a doubt one of the best forms of therapy. Having danced my entire life, and with a choreographer as a husband, dancing and music brings joy and release to the mind and body. Brene Brown succinctly sums it up:

“And the only things I can tell you for sure that I believe work — and I think there's good science behind this — is we have to move our bodies. Because we store trauma and grief and anxiety in our bodies. We have to exercise. We have to walk. We have to do yoga. We have to move our bodies.”

Find comfort in movement. As you find comfort in the movement of your body, find comfort in your own company.

So many times we turn to others or some activity for comfort. While a number of these things are good and essential. Learning to find comfort within has never been more important than it is right now. Our self-talk becomes crucial. I’m known for talking out loud to myself, especially when I’m running through a complex situation. I’ve learnt that sometimes the negative voice, can be in my own head and I’ve learnt that I am the only one in control of my thoughts and how I respond to the world. There is an undeniable sense of comfort that comes with knowing that you hold the key to changing your internal world. While taking comfort in your own company, finding comfort in your faith and in stillness evokes a deep sense of mindfulness and a peace that does surpass our human and understanding. 

I personally take great comfort in my faith. I don’t believe that there is anything that we experience that my Creator is not prepared for. So, for me, who best to turn to for solace than the One who created the world. I find comfort in prayer, in listening to teachings and reading scriptures. This allows me to get quiet...to get still. In this stillness, I’m brought back to the present moment and in that, I find comfort.

Comfort comes because while being able to use my own voice to speak positively to my mind is wonderful, there is even greater comfort in silencing the constant stream of thought. In this silence, we become fully aware that we cannot do anything about the past or control the future, we can only be in this very moment and move and act as this moment allows. That takes the pressure off for a short while. This creates space, which allows us to breath, gather our thoughts and respond to the moment with clarity and certainty. With certainty I can say, find comfort in an activity you love. 

While I have written about the information that has studies, science, and personal experience behind it, I leave you with this, sisters. Find comfort in the things that bring you joy. Find comfort in reading that inspires you, ignites your imagination or reminds you of a particularly wonderful time in your life. Find comfort every other day enjoying the artistry of television, movies or inspiring Ted Talks. Find comfort in a few minutes of video chats with your girlfriends, with a virtual drink. Find comfort in the arms of your loved one, the hugs of your children, the comforting touch of your mother or father. Find comfort in knowing that life as we know it may be different, but the life you want, and how the weeks ahead unfold, is still to be designed by you.

Author: Kim Jansen, follow Kim on Instagram @kimj777