Hey, rest.
The festive season is a season of celebration and connection. Relatives make their way to one another’s homes, cousins are finally reunited and most of all, we all get to forget about work for a bit. This is seemingly a setup for rest and rejuvenation, not for being overworked by your family - which is often closer to reality for many women.
The festive season is usually a time of rest for men and children. Women on the bitter end, are on their legs working around the clock to care for, entertain, clean and ensure that everything looks and feels right. So much for being on leave to rest.
One could argue that this tradition was started by our great grandmothers who were housewives who weren’t traditionally ‘working’ all year, therefore, this was their natural obligation, however, the culture has shifted and so should the practices. The need to constantly re-examine gender roles is for this reason here - to ensure that we are not keeping dated legacies alive to one gender’s detriment while the other lives in obvious privilege.
At the end of the year, everyone is tired. Everyone wants a break. Everyone wants to kick-back and most of all, everyone wants to have a good time. And we all deserve it. It’s important that working women are given the same pass we give working men to put their feet up.
The stress of work deadlines, financial responsibilities and family upkeep is enough to warrant you some rest and you are entitled to it. You are entitled to your downtime and I would go as far as to say, you are doing yourself a grave disservice by not making it your priority.
We need to prioritize our rest for ourselves because no one will do it for us. Those who are reaping the rewards of your work will never ask you to stop. This is why it’s important to check-in with yourself this festive season. Make sure you’re not taking on more than you should. Your people-pleasing tendencies are going to run you dry if you keep putting your physical and emotional well-being last so set healthy boundaries with your family and hold them. Hold them when it feels uncomfortable, hold them when you feel depleted and most importantly, hold them when someone is crossing them. By holding our boundaries, we show ourselves that we matter and deserve to be protected.
Simple ways of saying ‘no’ because you need rest this festive season:
Can we relook at this another time?
I am in desperate need of a nap right now. Let’s talk after?
Please can you ask your _______ ?
This can wait for tomorrow.
I am going to need to sit this one out. I’m exhausted.
I’d love to wish you rest, peace, reassurance, silence, calm and love this festive season. Until we need again next year, happy holidays.
By Phemelo Segoepe