Honing the Habit of Happiness
The year that is 2020 quite frankly demands that we not only take a closer look at how we’re living our lives and prioritising differently. Importantly, it requires that we do some deeper soul searching and prioritise ourselves in the best way possible. The thing about the crisis we have found ourselves in is that there is the co-existence of uncertainty or fear and simultaneously, absolute clarity. It is the active response to the clarity that you receive that can usher in true alignment.
My studies over this past couple of years have intensified this year. The journey of self-mastery is never complete. It’s a life-long journey of mindfulness, growth and discovery. After all, being in a constant state of evolution requires continual growth. What it has required was coming face-to-face with me which is probably one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. It meant connecting with myself in an entirely new way...without judgement.
Simultaneously, it has required establishing a relationship with myself. This brings a sense of liberty and allows you to cut out the noise easier. As soon as you can truly say…”I know who I am,” inner alignment will quickly sift out anything external that does not align with who you are. Similarly, you are able to act and move in the direction that does align with who you are with greater peace, confidence and ease. Above all else, you realise that your very own external world is a reflection of your inner state of being. A consistent inner state of health, alignment and happiness.
Happiness is an interesting one because based on my own observations, conversations and what I am sensing, more and more of us are waking up to the fact that no amount of stuff, fame or money can create real happiness. Real happiness is a state of mind and once cultivated, this is one facet that contributes to a healthy soul. Yes, happiness can be cultivated. The way one does so is to choose happiness at this moment, despite the circumstances. As Professor Maxwell Maltz teaches, “I have found that one of the most common causes of unhappiness among my patients is that they are attempting to live their lives on a deferred payment plan. They do not live, nor do they enjoy life now, but wait for some future event or occurrence.” Staying present and fully aware, moment by moment is where you will practice the habit of happiness. I think we have all come to the very stark realisation that tomorrow is not promised and while we aim to live responsibly and with purpose, it certainly doesn’t mean that we have to be unhappy. After all, “hope deferred makes the heart sick” reads a Solomonic proverb; so we may cultivate happiness habits while we design the lives we want.
I’ve been taught some exercises and rituals that I have practised and I would like to share them with you.
Positive journaling and gratitude. Step out of complaint culture. Trust me I was alarmed when I purposefully tracked my thoughts and realised what a “complainer” I was. Purposefully pen down a few positive aspects of your life, including gratitude, on a daily basis. Be specific about the things that you are grateful for. For instance.
The Swedish are considered the happiest people in the world. I have a Swedish cousin-in-law and they have a beautiful practice that is part of their culture and way of life…”Lagom” meaning “Not too little. Not too much.” It’s about avoiding an excessive way of life and enjoying what you have right now.
Send a gratitude note or email to someone you have genuinely wanted to appreciate.
Savour a moment. Purposefully focus on an activity that you’re normally autopilot through...really slow down and smell your coffee in the morning or the scent of soap as you shower and how this is resonating in your body.
There are more activities that you will discover, but I truly enjoy the science-backed exercises and those habits that I have practiced myself.
Reading about getting into alignment or connecting with self is not enough. It’s no longer enough to have the conversations and nod your head...it’s time to do. You’re worthy of a deeply present and aware life. You’re worthy of the true habit of happiness.