Diving deep into Self-Love
To those who have a limited understanding of self-love, the concept may come across or be understood as selfish and self-indulgent. This is not only misguided but it’s also a contributing factor to why many people struggle to self-love.
Loving ourselves seems revolutionary because our world thrives off our insecurities and codependency. We often use our upbringing to scapegoat our behaviour. As much as we may be products of our nature and how we were nurtured – if at all, but our parents did the best they could with what they had. Also, you cannot ask someone to give you what they too, did not have. And that’s why self-love is a game changer, the gift that keeps giving, the new north.
Self-love is an opportunity to not only fill the voids and heal but it is also an indirect inheritance you will leave behind for those who lived close to you. By loving yourself, you show other people how to do the same for themselves. By holding space for yourself to grow and change, you create space for others to dare to evolve too.
Assuming that putting ourselves first is selfish is a lazy thought. It’s lazy because it’s not thought through well. When you interrogate why we need to do something for ourselves first, you find numerous examples in our world and day to day lives as to why it makes sense. In airplanes, you’re asked to fix your own mask before trying to help someone else.
The saying “practise what you teach” is a very direct and clear message – don’t ask of me what you are not doing yourself. As a parent, you cannot ask your child to love themselves as they are if you haven’t learned self-acceptance. As a leader you cannot lead a team to places you aren’t willing to venture into.
When we give ourselves the time, kindness and opportunity to love ourselves, we create room for more personal development. We make learning about self-improvement and not a chance to be smarter than someone else. Self-love allows us to see our growth as our responsibility without the daunting fear of not being good enough to rise up to the challenge.
If you’re reading this blog, you’re probably already on a self-love journey but keep getting very evasive directives as to how, I’m here to offer some direction.
If you’re looking to strengthen your self-love, here are 3 powerful practises that I believe will help you do just that:
Practice self-care
The time you spend self-caring is time spent loving yourself. Make room for self-care and honour yourself during that time. Don’t allow yourself to get distracted by things that won’t serve you in that moment, don’t procrastinate either. Commit yourself to tasks that either give you energy, make you feel good or boost your overall wellbeing.
Question your self-deprecating beliefs
Question why you feel small, what makes you feel small and why it has such a profound effect on you. Your core beliefs govern how you relate to everything, especially yourself, investigate them and get to the source.
Stand up for yourself
By standing up for yourself, especially if you feel like you’re consistently being taken advantage of, you show yourself that you care for your wellbeing in turn, build self-trust. When you have no one to fight for you, it’s easy to feel unprotected. You need to be what you’re missing to yourself. Find your voice and use it.
Learning to love ourselves is a consistent act and requires us to consistently work at it. Never give up on becoming your highest self and leave room for error. You are human and you are wonderful. Let these two truths co-exist and help you loving yourself more meaningfully.
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